Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Jamie heard from someone recently that a journal served no good purpose if no one ever read it. I love to journal. It is therapeutic for me..and typically no one ever reads them, so I decided to randomly disperse some old thoughts amidst the current happenings of the Millers...

The Most Difficult Words (Sister's Journal- Summer 2006)
It amazes me how early children develop pride and anger--they seem so sweet and innocent as newborns, but you soon discover they really are born ornery. All this to say that your sister can be one of the hardest people to humble yourself to. Really, any family member, but we are in a sister's frame of mind so that is the dynamic that I am looking at. Tori and Isabelle are in a love/hate stage of their relationship. They really are the best of friends, but on any given day the sounds from their room would not support that statement, and Isabelle seems to be the one with the short fuse. So as my parents did with my sisters and I, the girls have to "make-up". At the beginning of this new stage in their relationship I would tell Isabelle to tell Tori "sorry" and she would go give Tori a hug. Initially I was pleased with this response thinking she is showing her sorrow and desire to restore the relationship (I know you are amazed at the deep thought I put into this process). Anyway, I soon discovered that Isabelle refused to speak the words "I'm sorry". (You may have caught on to this already, but I am free to have rose colored glasses on for some occasions when it come to the girls' behavior) She could not bring herself to speak the words! Why is that? It must be pride, or in the case of a family member, a sister, who you know so intimately, and you know their faults and somehow feel they don't deserve a sorry, because they too are "marred". Whatever the case, I realized this is an important lesson for Isabelle to learn now (partly because it is a struggle for me as an almost 30 year old--yikes!) So, we began the process of teaching Isabelle to speak the words "I'm sorry". We still are in process, but we are getting there. First she would cry and refuse to say it--never a fun game. But now, she will say it, but she asks to say it softly, so when she does say it, it is barely above a whisper. I pray someday they both will be humble enough to easily and loudly proclaim their sorrow to one another, realizing their sisters friendship is far more valuable than their pride.

3 comments:

Chaz & Kari Dull said...

Oh I love the opening of your journal to us all! What a great post! A great reminder to instill this in our children when they are young b/c it sure is not easy to say IM SORRY!

stephanie garcia said...

This story is repeated in our household between our two girls, also! Thank you for sharing.

Beth said...

U are wise beyond your years, Mil!!!!