Saturday, February 12, 2011

In the course of my lifetime I have written hundreds of journal entries. All of them are precious to me, but some of them are more precious than others. The following excerpt is from one of my most precious entries and I have gone back and forth in recent days about even sharing it publicly. For those of you who knew Penny, I hope you are encouraged today to remember her godly life and all that she has taught us.

Journal entry- January 31, 2010:

I said goodbye to Penny tonight. I have been in Columbus with Jamie and his family. The doctor told us Friday that these are her final days. The time here has been bittersweet and I will write more about it later. But apart from your supernatural intervention I have shared my last earthly conversation with my dear sister-in-law and I don't want to forget it.

I knew she was so tired so her putting forth the energy to converse with me meant so much. I told her I was going to say "goodnight" and she said "you are trying to make this easy". I started to cry and assured her there was nothing easy about it. She smiled "I know". We shared how we never thought we would be here. I reminded her of our first conversation post diagnosis and how she shared Psalm 71 with me. She didn't even want to choose a diet because she wanted YOU alone to get the glory. She has brought much glory to you in this journey. I told her how proud I was and how amazing she was to walk this trial so gracefully. She rolled her eyes and I stopped her and said, "Penny, you have been amazing". And she said, "God has been good to me- God has been good". What an amazing woman!
She told me her mind can't really fathom it. That she has tried to picture what it will be like to see Jesus' face for the first time, but she can't. Then she trailed off and lost her train of thought.
I would sure love a miracle, God. We just looked at each other and she apologized that she was too pooped to cry, but I could feel the love for me in her eyes. What a gift she is!


In loving memory of Penny Hoffman (June 23, 1970 - February 12, 2011)

5 comments:

Tara said...

Thank you for sharing this.

mrsmarkdave said...

Gretchen, I really am at a loss for words even though I want to say something. So, I'll just copy in saying "thank you for sharing this" and please know that I still hurt for you as you and your family continue to miss Penny.

Life with Kaishon said...

I have been praying for you and Jaime and her family and her parents all this week. I am so glad she is with Jesus. And so sorry you are still hurting so much. Much love.

Richardson Family said...

I'm so glad you shared this, it's beautiful.

Full of JOY said...

I am honored to read your most personal, precious thoughts, Gretchen.